


She's My Man

by skintightsocks



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-01 23:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skintightsocks/pseuds/skintightsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kurt, you know I adore you," Rachel says, spreading her toes out against Kurt's thigh so he can get at her pinkie toe with the polish, "but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on certain sleepover rites of passage by having the majority of them with a guy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's My Man

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "She's My Man" by the Scissor Sisters. All the thanks to the lovely [](http://preromantics.livejournal.com/profile)[**preromantics**](http://preromantics.livejournal.com/) for her beta help! As a side note, Kurt and Rachel aren't together in this fic but there are elements of Kurt/Rachel, so please do not read if that's not your thing.

"Kurt, you know I adore you," Rachel says, spreading her toes out against Kurt's thigh so he can get at her pinkie toe with the polish, "but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on certain sleepover rites of passage by having the majority of them with a guy."

"Rachel, we are _literally_ talking about boys while I paint your toenails," Kurt says, rolling his eyes before focusing back on her nails. Kurt is adorably serious about giving pedicures - they've been at this for almost thirty minutes and her foot is starting to cramp up. "Besides, I french-braided your hair while we ate vegan cookie dough earlier. What more do you want?" Kurt asks, tightening his grip on Rachel's ankle and lifting her foot to his face to blow on her toenails. His warm breath tickles a little and Rachel laughs, trying to poke his chin with her toe.

"Stop that, you're going to ruin your polish and I worked hard on this," Kurt says, swatting at her leg. "Now tell me what I need to do to fulfill your sleepover dreams. I'd really prefer we didn't talk about your cycle, though."

"Stop sounding like such a grandma, no one says cycle," Rachel groans, falling back on the bed. "It's just that there's a certain amount of... experimentation at sleepovers. That is if teen movies and the stuff Santana's told me are correct, anyway."

"Like with drugs?" Kurt asks. "I have no idea where to get drugs."

"Not with drugs," Rachel huffs, sitting back up and staring at him. "I mean... _experimentation_. Girls, experimenting with other girls."

"So you're upset that I can't indulge your latent lesbian fantasies, then?" Kurt asks, grinning. "I'm sure if you just _asked_ Santana she'd be more than happy to--"

"No," Rachel says quickly. "No, no, no. No. I'd prefer not to fear for my life while improving my kissing technique."

Kurt scoffs. "As if Santana would help you with technique, anyway."

Rachel tilts her head, considering, watching the way Kurt's teeth worry at his lip as he puts the nail polish bottles away before letting go of it, his lip red and wet where he was biting instead of pink like it was before. "And what would _you_ know about technique, Kurt?"

Kurt's head jerks up, his expression indignant. "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't make out with my boyfriend too," he snaps. "And considering the practice we've had I can safely say we are both _excellent_ kissers, although I'm sure Blaine would agree with me that I'm the slightly better kisser because he's pretty one-note in his passion," Kurt adds in a rush at the end, the tips of ears starting to turn pink.

"It wasn't an accusation," Rachel says with a laugh, crawling forward until she's kneeling in front of Kurt. "You know, since you're our honorary girl and all, maybe it would count as experimenting if I kissed _you._ "

"Oh goody," Kurt says, rolling his eyes. "Just what I've always wanted. To be Rachel Berry's lesbian experiment."

"Don't tell me you've never thought about it," Rachel continues, dropping her voice lower in that way that she hopes is actually sexy (she knows it makes Finn stutter, anyway) and leaning in until her face is close enough that she can smell Kurt's popcorn breath. Rachel never thought popcorn breath would be kind of turning her on. Or _Kurt_ , for that matter, because now her eyes can't stop flicking down to where the top few buttons of his pajama top are undone and she can see pale skin.

"Rachel, I have a boyfriend. _You_ have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is my brother," Kurt says, flushing darker now in a way that really compliments his pale skin.

"Finn won't mind," Rachel assures him. "He's gone on at great length about how okay he would be with me exploring my sapphic side and this would be just like that, technically."

"Except for my penis," Kurt says slowly. "You do realize I still have one of those, right? I'm pretty sure Finn was just saying that in hopes of some girl-on-girl action, Rachel."

"That's just semantics!" Rachel says, excited. "Your penis doesn't want me, Kurt, that's the beauty of it. We can just be practice buddies, like we do with our routines."

"Making out is not the same as practicing harmonies," Kurt says. "Besides, I don't care what weirdo arrangement you have with Finn, Blaine and I don't go around throwing ourselves at other people lips-first."

"So ask him," Rachel says. "Call him right now, and ask, and if he says no, I'll drop it."

"Rachel, _I'm_ saying no," Kurt groans, flopping back against the pillows. Rachel takes the opprotunity to crawl forward until she's sitting on Kurt's thigh. He swats at her hip, but doesn't try to move her, which she's taking as a good sign. She reaches over and grabs Kurt's phone from his bedside table, quickly scrolling to Blaine's name and pressing call.

" _Hey you_ ," Blaine says when he picks up, sounding so smitten Rachel can't help but smile.

"Hey yourself, Blaine Warbler," Rachel says, yelping when Kurt sits up and reaches for the phone.

" _Rachel_?" Blaine asks. " _What are you_ \--"

"Oof!" Rachel says when Kurt pushes her sideways off of his leg and wrestles the phone out of his hand. "Kurt, I was just _helping_."

"You are no less annoying just because we're friends now, you know," Kurt snaps. "No, no, honey, it's nothing, Rachel has just lost her mind, is all," Kurt says into the phone.

"I have not lost anything, Blaine!" Rachel calls out, trying to crawl forward so she can put her ear next to the phone, by Kurt's. "Kurt's the one who was bragging about his kissing skills anyway, so really, he brought this on himself."

" _I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand_ \--"

"That's because there's nothing to understand!" Kurt says in a high voice. "Blaine, sweetie, I love you and I hope you sleep well, goodnight."

" _I love you too, Kurt, but_ \--"

Kurt ends the call, frowning when he takes the phone away from his ear and Rachel is inches away from his face again. "You really had to bring Blaine into this? I mean, _really_ , Rachel?"

"Just think of it this way," Rachel says cheerfully when the idea strikes her. "Blaine and I have kissed but you and I haven't, so this would just be evening the score!"

"Remember when we made that pact to never speak of that moment again? Because I do," Kurt says tightly. "I remember it quite vividly."

"Don't you want a taste of the lips that almost turned your gay boyfriend straight?" Rachel asks, grinning, and Kurt doesn't reply - he just reaches behind them and grabs a pillow, hitting Rachel square in the face with it. Rachel gasps, falling backwards on the bed and reaching up to put her hands on Kurt's chest when his fingers go for her sides, where she's most ticklish. _Her weak spot, damn him_ , Rachel thinks, choking out a laugh as she tries to shove Kurt off.

"Rachel, come on," Kurt says after a few seconds, pinning her down on the bed. "What's this really about? I find it hard to believe you just suddenly have a burning desire to make out with me." Rachel decides not to point out that Kurt on top of her, holding her down, isn't really doing anything to dampen said burning desire.

"Don't you ever just wonder?" Rachel asks, sitting up on her elbows. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Finn, I do, but he's kind of... focused, when we make out. On all the wrong things."

"You mean grabbing your boobs instead of remembering to actually kiss you?" Kurt asks, grinning down at her.

"Exactly," Rachel says. "What about Blaine? Is he as good sober as he was drunk?"

"You are not helping your case," Kurt says, and Rachel brightens.

"So you're considering it?" she asks hopefully.

"If and _only_ if Blaine's okay with it," Kurt sighs. "And we have to have ground rules. Like no clothes come off, and hands don't go below the waist, and no hickeys. I bruise easily."

"Kurt, you are the _best_ ," Rachel says, straining her neck up so she can kiss his cheek. "Now let go of me and text your boyfriend."

-

"Okay, but repeat them back to me," Kurt says, staring at her intently.

"Kurt, I've already done that twice, I _get it_ ," Rachel groans. "I'm not going to rob you of your virtue. I will not bite, and I will not give you hickeys, and our pajamas will stay on, and I will not touch you below the waist or encourage you to touch me below the waist," she repeats dutifully, just in case. Kissing Kurt better be worth all the trouble.

"And?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow.

"And if it gets weird, we'll stop," Rachel says, crawling forward and grabbing onto Kurt's shoulders to steady herself. They're broad under her hands, and tenser than they should be, so she lets herself rub at them a little, smiling when Kurt closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

"I cannot believe my boyfriend sold me out," Kurt says sadly. "I was so sure he'd say no."

"Remember, we have to take a picture for him at some point," Rachel says, shifting closer. "Now kiss me already."

"So I suppose you expect me to be 'the man' in this scenario, then?" Kurt asks, eyebrow quirked, and Rachel groans. She doesn't have time for his snark right now, honestly.

Rachel slides her hands from Kurt's shoulders up higher, letting one palm press flat against the back of his shoulders while she uses the other to cup the back of his head, bringing his face closer to hers. Kurt tilts his head, staring at her with a frustratingly unreadable expression, and Rachel thinks, _Ah, screw it_ , and leans in, pressing her lips softly to Kurt's.

Kurt inhales sharply right away, the sound loud and startling and _really_ quite hot, and Rachel lets her fingers slide into his hair to hold him there, kissing him a little harder, happy to discover his lips are a lot softer than any of the other boys' she's ever kissed. Kurt starts to kiss back then, jaw moving and lips parting under Rachel's until there's sucking and a slipperywet hint of tongue and then Kurt's taking control and kissing _her_ , hard enough that she has to lean back with it as his hands slide down to cup her waist, holding her in place as they kiss.

Rachel's been around the block. When Puck kissed her it felt _exciting_ , when Jesse kissed her it felt like a competition she didn't mind losing, and now when Finn kisses her she feels warm and safe. But this - this is just kissing, just the warm heat of their mouths pressing and sliding together, with no pressure to do anything more or be anything else other than kissed by Kurt Hummel, and it feels _wonderful._

Rachel's not particularly surprised at the breathy, strangled moan between them, but then she realizes it was _Kurt_ , not her, and her eyes fly open, pulling back fast enough that their lips part with a soft, wet sound.

"Oh," Rachel says stupidly, slowly letting go of Kurt's hair where she didn't even realize she was gripping so tight. She can still feel Kurt's hands tight on her waist, big and warm through her pajama top, and Rachel's just about to tell Kurt how pretty he looks with his cheeks all flushed when Kurt says, "Maybe we should try that again. Just-- to get the full experience." He licks his lips, and Rachel feels dizzy.

"Of course," Rachel breathes, a goofy smile playing at her lips. "That's the logical thing to do."

"Absolutely," Kurt agrees, and then he's leaning in and kissing her _hard_ , one of his hands coming up to cup the back of her head now. Rachel gasps into it, leaning back and letting Kurt hold her up. She loves the little thrill she gets from how easily he supports her, how strong and solid he feels when he keeps pressing closer, bending her back with the weight of his body.

"Do you remember?" Rachel asks, pulling back from Kurt's mouth with a groan, "how you said neck kissing was okay as long as there were no hickeys?"

"Yes," Kurt says breathlessly, blinking at her.

"Then take the hint and kiss my neck, buddy," Rachel says, letting out a surprised squeak when Kurt wastes no time in doing just that, brushing her hair to the side and trailing his lips across her jaw and down her neck. His kisses are surprisingly careful, not sloppy and uneven like she was half-expecting, and Rachel grabs at his arms and tilts her head back as Kurt kisses softly over the front of her throat, tongue darting out to lick over the skin and leave a wet trail that makes Rachel shiver.

"Is this still okay?" Kurt asks, voice all quiet and rough in a way that's entirely different from how Rachel is used to hearing him, and Rachel nods quickly.

"More, Kurt," she says, fingers curling a little into the soft cotton of his sleeves, and he keeps placing open-mouthed kisses all over the side of her neck, stopping to suck lightly when he gets to a spot right above the dip of her collarbone. "Oh, _oh_ ," Rachel gasps, clutching harder, her body shuddering forward a little. "That feels--"

"Blaine likes that spot too," Kurt says sheepishly, distracted, and it feels too good for Rachel to point out that they probably shouldn't be doing this, now that it's painfully obvious it isn't just a little smooching between friends. Rachel had figured it would just be kind of... relaxing. A no-pressure situation where she could just enjoy kissing, really. But now she's making out with Kurt and his mouth is the _best_ and she's not proud of the way her stomach is swooping and twisting up tight and hot already, but at least the way Kurt's breathing picks up when she digs her fingernails into his arms lets her know she's not entirely alone here. Kurt keeps mouthing at her neck, sucking over her now sensitive skin with just the barest hint of teeth, and Rachel can't seem to stop herself from moving, squirming against Kurt and trying to press closer.

"Rachel," Kurt says gruffly, squeezing tightly at her waist and trying to hold her still. "Stop that."

"Sorry," she gasps, obviously not sorry in the least, and she tugs at Kurt's hair so she can get his mouth back on hers. Kurt's apparently a quick study, because when he kisses her again it's _perfect_ , deep and open enough that he can suck at the tip of her tongue and then kiss away the whining noise Rachel makes against his mouth. His hands are splayed out on her back, big and so warm where her shirt's ridden up and his fingers are pressed against her bare skin. She leans back into the touch, farther and farther until she loses her balance and her back is hitting the bed, but Kurt just chases her mouth, settling his body over hers and kissing even harder.

When Kurt pulls back a little to suck at her bottom lip, his teeth teasing at it, Rachel can't help the unmistakable moan she lets out at the feeling that shoots straight down into her stomach, making her feel hot and a little desperate in a way that's entirely too addicting. She doesn't realize she's started moving against him again, gripping his shoulders tightly and rocking her hips up, until she shifts just right and Kurt lets out a strangled gasp that's all _rough_ and-- oh.

"That's your penis," Rachel says, freezing.

"Yes, it is," Kurt rasps. "I told you I had one of those."

"It's hard," Rachel says stupidly, trying to resist the urge to arch up higher so she can feel it better and can get some kind of friction where she's wet and aching a little.

"Again, yes," Kurt says shakily. "Which-- I'm pretty sure means this little experiment is _over_ , oh my god."

"Whoops," Rachel breathes out, letting her head fall back onto the bed and squinting up at Kurt as he tries to fix the hair at the back of his head and keeps licking his lips. Rachel stares, licking her lips too, and Kurt catches the movement and flushes even redder.

"If anyone asks, I thought you were Blaine. You're both loud and small, it's an easy mistake to make," Kurt says faintly, but Rachel is barely listening to him. She wants nothing more than to tug him back down on top of her, but-- _no, no, bad Rachel._ She can respect Kurt's boundaries. She _can._

"Right," Rachel says, nodding and pulling her shirt back down into place. She already misses the warmth of his hands on her skin-- _no_. "Right, we should just forget that ever happened."

"Right," Kurt agrees, nodding. "Because it can't happen ever again, so we are just going to forget. Everything. Never happened."

"What never happened?" Rachel says brightly, grinning at him and absolutely not thinking about soft lips or warm hands. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Excellent," Kurt says, holding his hand out for a high five. Rachel laughs and flops back down beside Kurt on the bed, snuggling into his side. Unfortunately, she manages to somehow brush Kurt's hard-on with her leg, and they both go completely still. "Rachel," Kurt says evenly, "maybe you should go tell Finn goodnight. I'll call Blaine and do the same. I think that's... the best thing to do right now."

"Goodnight," Rachel says, swallowing heavy and slowly pulling away. "That's a good idea, I'll just go... tell Finn goodnight."

"Great," Kurt says, and she can feel him watch her go. "I'm just going to call Blaine. To tell him goodnight. No other reason."

"What other reason would there be?" Rachel says, desperately trying not to think about Kurt and Blaine having phone sex. That way lies madness and even more sexual frustration. "I'll be back in twenty minutes," she says, backing toward the door. "Is that enough time for you to... say goodnight?"

"That's fine, thank you," Kurt says, blushing. "When you get back it will be like none of this ever happened and we can get back to our face masks and future wedding planning. You know, normal slumber party stuff that is in no way sexually confusing."

"Does that mean the pillow fight in our underwear is off too?" Rachel asks, unable to help herself. She grins at the wide-eyed, panicked look Kurt gives before she starts to laugh, burying her face in her hands and giggling. "Relax, Kurt," she says. "I'm kidding, I promise."

"Oh," Kurt says, breathing out a relieved-sounding sigh. "Right."

"Besides," Rachel says as she slides out of the door, "we have to save something for next time." She narrowly avoids the throw pillow that comes whizzing out of Kurt's doorway and hurries down the hall to Finn's room. Twenty minutes is _plenty_ of time to teach Finn that neck thing Kurt did.

 


End file.
